Words Matter
I wrote earlier about the challenges of interfaith
dialogue and how difficult it is when you do not allow differences to emerge
because you want to avoid conflict and the clash of ideas. In the modern
university there is another area of tension where ideas do not necessarily
clash but where words do. Here the
degradation of what I call polite conversation poses enormous difficulties.
An acquaintance remarked about the state of conversation by mentioning that he remembered
when Rhett Butler saying “Damn” raised all sorts of reaction when “Gone With
the Wind“ was first released. I didn’t tell him how devastated I was when
Tarzan of the Apes first uttered “Damn” in one of the early Edgar Rice
Burrough’s Tarzan books. The book had been written in the early 20th
century, but I read it more than a
decade after Gone with the Wind. How one reacts to the most modest of
swear words tells volumes about your educational context. It also explains how
hard it is to raise the issue of inappropriate language. For some, words are what comes out of the mouth; for
others, and I count myself in this group, words are almost sacred. They matter
and how they are used is important.
By the time I was ten I could swear better in Spanish
than I could in English and that was to my advantage since my family did not
understand what I was really saying. Or maybe they did, as I was soon moved
from a predominantly Hispanic grade school to one where acting out was measured
by whether or not you spat on the asphalt playground.
Even as the homogeneity of spoken language has made
our public voices sound alike, the influence of urban America and our military
adventures have introduced to public discourse language that Tarzan would never
use in the presence of self-respecting apes. The crude stream of rap passing as
music makes it appear that there are no limits to what may be said and few seem
willing to speak out and say that there are limits to what ought to pass as
appropriate conversation.
The proof may be easily seen on un-moderated e-mail
lists in the university where invective and vulgarity rule. The other day a
young woman told me that some friends had referred to her as a whore in
conversation on line not because she was known to sleep around, but simply
because they thought it funny to use the word to refer to women. She thought it
odd that I challenged the word as inappropriate. In her world she felt she
could give as good as she got, but the suggestion that no one needed to talk that
way gave her pause. Why hadn’t anyone told her she could take offense?
On another list a young man found new and creative
ways to use the F-word and when I suggested that choice of words and repetition
make his litany less effective than it might have been, his only reply was that
speech ought to be free. What would happen, I asked, if a prospective employer
found his public rant? Was he trying make a point or simply engaging in
performance vulgarity? There are lots of things you can say that you do not
need to say, I suggested. He understood,
but thought his freedom of speech was being compromised. Again, I asked, was he
talking to be heard or to offend? Maybe
we all need to think about how we might introduce moderation in language into
the world around each of us.
Speaking up to call out those who think every verb
begins with F is not as easy as it might seem and that is in part because a lot
of younger folk have come to believe that because they know a word they can use
it. Do not go to the movies with them as they can yell fire pretty loudly. Free speech seems to mean that I can say what
I will about anyone no matter how ugly the words. If no one says that being
foul mouthed is not cool, the words simply keep falling out.
Once I recovered from Tarzan’s heresy, I found occasions
where strong words made points that could be made in no other way. But I often
kept quiet when others spoke as if they were imitating a verbal sewer. My point
when I did reply was often simply that four letter words have only limited
impact in contemporary discourse. I remind
students that we use words to communicate ideas and strong words can get
attention and may help make a point. When all words are equally strong the
effect is cancelled. Too many swear words strung together have no impact except
to remind the hearer what happens when the tongue gets lazy and the brain shuts
down.
All of this is matters little if we all look down and ignore hurtful language
that is both foul and foolish. I have found that asking if someone really means
what they are saying can cause enough reaction to foster real dialogue. But it
takes a village to start the conversation. Here in the university we have the
opportunity to change what is acceptable, but it is not clear that we have the
courage to speak up lest we be thought prudish. It is assumed that chaplains
are prudish so I have little to lose, but what about the rest of you?
Robert M Randolph
Chaplain to the Institute
MIT
Cambridge, MA 02139
